Adoptive Parents Opinion On Baby Shower Gift?
I’m going to a baby shower for an adopted newborn. I know all newborns need the same stuff, I’m not trying to be rude or dense, just looking for a sincere opinion. I was wondering if there was anything extra special a new adoptive mom would appreciate.
When we had a “welcome” home/baby shower for our adopted daughter. We received a gift certificate for photo studio.
I wouldn’t make it about adoption at all, unless you know the parents well enough to know how they would feel about it. We had a shower and received all the ‘normal’ stuff. I wouldn’t have minded something related to adoption, but some people might want certain times to NOT be about the adoption. After going through the process, they might just want something non-adoption related, if that makes sense. In my opinion, there CAN be too much focus on the baby being adopted. It’s all about balance and maybe this is a good time for staying off the adoption topic. If you want to give them something really nice that is adopted related, then perhaps get them something at a different time, between you, the parents, and the child, especially if you don’t know the couple too well. Just an thought…
I would actually steer clear of any adoption related materials, because you never know how the parents are going to go about discussing this with the baby. I would just get the usual stuff. Perhaps a scrap book kit, and some disposable cameras for the shower. You could develop the pictures and make a scrap book yourself to gift after the shower. Gift cards are always nice. Also something for the new mommy might be appreciated. Lotions or bath stuff is always popular.
I’ve never adopted a child at newborn age, but I can’t think of anything they might need that would be different. All infants pretty much require the same set of basic stuff– it’s when they get older that you get into them needing different things.
If you’re in doubt, you could ask the adoptive mom what she needs. Otherwise, I would just bring the same gift you’d bring to any other baby shower.
ETA: I agree with Jennifer L about the timing, but since it doesn’t sound like you’re the one who planned the shower (you say you’re “going to” it,) I’m assuming you really have no control over that part. So my advice deals with gifting logistics only, not the overall adoption and/or shower situation.
As an adoptive parent, one thing I noticed when we first brought our son home was the lack of “help.” When women give birth, people bring her casseroles or offer to cook dinner for the family and others offer to help out with diapering and rocking, etc. so the new mom can take a much-needed nap. I know those things happened when my sister had her 3 kids and when friends have had babies. No one offered to do these things for me. My son was 2-1/2 when we brought him home, but I was still a first-time mother and could have used an occasional home-cooked dinner that I didn’t have to make myself or some time alone with my son while someone else cleaned the toilet.
Take a small token gift: blanket, clothes, etc., but offer your help and support as well. And MEAN IT! You could call your friend a week or so after the baby arrives and ask what night she’d like you to come over and bring dinner. Even a hot pizza you pay for and have delivered means one less thing the mom has to think about that day.
Time out is the biggest gift anyone can give a new mum. I was lucky I aleady had friends who are adoptive parents (with older teenage kids,) and they knew it would be a rush so they turned up the day after we came home with meals and they had set up the baby’s bedroom for us! (We had 2 days notice and had to travel to do the transition for her to some home with us from her foster family.)
A few times one of them would show up in the weeks even with one of their kids to – entertain the baby while I did something I wanted to do without distractions. Great friends and they have great kids too.
I didn’t have an offical baby shower, but I did feel spoilt and loved by my friends.
Why not put together a hamper of thing like baby wipes, bath toys, nappies, photo frame, rash cream and other consumerable items…and something for just for them…
Aloha Girl is dead on with this one. Material gifts are great, but Help is better! An adoptive parent is no different than a new parent when it comes to learning how to cope with a newborn baby. Stopping by with some food and letting her get a shower would be awesome. She will be so much more thankful for that!
Yes. Do exactly and give exactly the same as you would do if she had given birth to this baby. She wants her and her new baby to be treated the same as all of her friends and family who were given the privilege of giving birth. As a mother of both, believe me, it is the same joy and the same love.
my grandmother found a baby book for our adopted son and it was filled with all of his first. it skipped the whole how i felt when i was pregnant and who visited in the hospital. it was really neat. it just started when our family began. she also embroidered him a sampler with baby name and weight that kinda thing . really meant alot to me.
I would give 2 scrapbooks, 1 for them and 1 for the baby’s other mom, get 2 sets of everything, maybe this will encourage then to have an open adoption. Some people just need a nudge and support of other to continue an open relationship.
I think a book about adoption, and what to expect while adopting would be appropriate. (that is not a real book, but a book on the reality of adoption and how they as parents can work towards completely honesty with their children)
Well it would really depend on rather the adoptive parents are going to be open with their new child, if so there are great adoption baby books out there. Also the books on what your baby goes through from birth to one year old is pretty nice.
I really feel that showers/parties should be postponed until the adoption is finalized. But that said, newborns need lots of things. You could also look into adoption-related books for the parents.
My mom pretty much got all of the same thing she would have been given had I been her biological child. You know, receiving blankets, clothes, etc.
Maybe a scrapbook to put EVERYTHING beginning from pictures of them recieving the baby